Being Thankful

When asked at school last week, what he was thankful for, T. replied, "My women."
After we got home I asked him just who is women are, to which he replied, "My mommy, Grandma, V., and Mrs. Welty (his teacher).
Well, at least he knows who we are!

All Things Lead To The Ocean

Little Girl started toilet training this week. She's doing surprising well with it at school too. Regardless, accidents happen, especially of the poop variety. Normally I would ask her wonderful teachers to toss the really nasty soiled ones. However on Tuesday V. was wearing her ONLY pair of Ariel (Little Mermaid) panties. When you buy the pack of princess panties it is the ONLY one in the bunch and she is not too interested in the other princesses at this point. So I asked her teachers to please save that pair for me if she had an accident. Well, pooped she did. We got them home and I put them in the toilet to clean them. I turn my back for half of a second and V. has flushed them down. I start yelling: "NO! Damn it the pipes are going to be clogged and this toilet will probably be broken like the other one!"
V. just looked at me and walked away. It didn't phase her in the least that Ariel was gone. T. on the other hand starts wailing: "Mommy! Ariel is going back to the ocean. She's going to be stuck in the pipes. Daddy needs to get her out!" He went on for 5 minutes or so, just inconsolable. I had to work at not laughing.. after all, Ariel going back to ocean isn't such a far fetched idea!

Liar liar pants on fire

While trying to get the kids upstairs and ready for bed this evening after dinner, I happened to go into the powder room with V. There was toilet paper shredded all over the bathroom. "What the hell happened here?"
V. starts yelling over and over "T., T., T., T.,......"
"T. did you rip all this toilet paper?"
His initial response was to close his eyes, and look at me under his lashes, only to respond back with a shrug.
"T. did you DO this?"
"No Mommy, a ghost did it."
WTF?!?!?!
I tried so hard not to laugh and smirk, because frankly, it was funny and clever. HOWEVER, I don't want to start a precedent in his young life, where lying to his momma is ok.
I didn't think this would start so young...
I'm in for it. Imagine how much more creative his lies can/will become with age.....

Spelling

This summer, T. has become especially interested in the way words are spelled. I get asked several times a day to spell words for him. Being the preschool teacher I am, I take full advantage of this and sound out the words for him to give me the letter name.
That being said, last week, T. and I were having a conversation, and he asked me to spell "bottom". I sounded it out and he gave me the letter names. Next, he asked me to spell "penis". Trying not to laugh, I sounded out the word and gave me the letter names. Once we spelled penis, I asked him if he should ask his teacher to spell these words for him when school starts up again. He responded with: "Oh no Mommy. We don't talk about bottoms, penis', poop, or pee at school."
Great, as long as we've got that clear.

Bad Words

I've got T. all to myself these days, since he is not in camp/daycare and Little girl is. On the way to go pick up my daughter yesterday, T. and I had quite the conversation. He was explaining to me that per a previous conversation we'd had, that when he is a grown up, he can say bad words. "Mommy, when I'm a daddy, and I hurt myself, I can say 'sh*t"." Being motheroftheyear, I of course couldn't help myself from laughing. "Mommy, are you laughing at me?" "Yes, honey I am." "You're laughing because I said 'sh*t', right?" (Laughing harder at this point!)"Yes, I am!"
I'm going to pay for this later I'm sure.

The right one

Now that summer is here, I'm going to get to spend a lot more one on one time with T. Last week, T. was with me running errands and we got to talking about marriage. (Now please remember my child is 3 3/4) He asked me why Mike and I got married, and I told him that we loved each other and were ready to start a family so we got married. "But Mommy, WHY did you marry Daddy?" "Well, T. because Daddy was the right one."
This answer seemed to suffice for the time being. During the course of the day, T. was talking about a time when he will be a daddy and all the grown up things he'll do, like drink coffee and wine, and use tools. I then asked him, "T. if you're going to be a daddy, who are you going to marry?"
Bless his heart, he replied with "You Mommy. I'm going to marry you."
"Oh, honey, you can't marry me, I'm your mommy."
"But, Mommy, you're the right one."
Oh how that melted my heart.
I need to keep this story close by and remember what a sweetheart he was at 3, when he becomes a pain-in-the-ass teenager.

Wild Thing

This week at school we are hosting the week of the young child and the theme is Where The Wild Things Are. Yesterday afternoon we dressed as wild things and held our own "wild rumpus". My boy had SO much fun! He is such a character and gets so involved in dress up and make believe. Baby girl was not apart of the rumpus due to nap time. I must say, I had a great time fixing his hair and making his face "wild"! Enjoy Little Bear's costume!

The Nutcracker

My darlin' son had an accident this afternoon on his way to the bathroom. He very quickly took off all his clothes and placed them into the washing machine per mommy's instructions. Well, when you are 3 nothing is better than being naked. T. proceeded to dance around and enjoy the breeze. I looked over and he had found an old nutcracker in the drawer.
"Mommy, what's this?"
(laughing from the sheer irony of it all) "It's a nutcracker honey."
"A nutcracker! What's that for?"
(still giggling) "Well, it's to crack nuts. Do you want to crack some nuts?"
"Yeah! Nutcracker, nutcracker, nutcracker.." That's when the full booty shaking dance started, right in front of my sliding glass door, where no drapes were pulled. My neighbors must think I'm a fabulous mother.
Oh, and that's when my daughter insisted she take off her shirt and dance with T.
Perfect.

What I want to be when I grow up

T. has been studying community helpers this month at school. Today, his teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, a job description, and how much he would be paid.
My darling son's response:
Job: I want to be a grown up.
Description: I can use bad words.
Compensation: I want to get paid 2 moneys.

Hmm, I guess he was really listening last night after I said GD and explained that, yes I had used a bad word, and when you're a grown up, you can use bad words too.
I am mother of the year.

A striped bow tie

That is all T. has been asking for since November. The reason is, he got very upset one day when V. was wearing a bow in her hair. He asked for one and Mike wasn't too keen on the idea.
"Boy's don't wear bows in their hair."
T.'s reply, "But I want a bow!", said through screams and tears.
Mommy to the rescue! "Boy's do wear bows. They were bow ties." So my little man since then has been adamant that he wants a bow tie, a STRIPED bow tie.
Fast forward to this past Saturday night. We were in Barnes and Noble and my son was again adamant that he buy a bow tie. After realizing there was none to be had, he looked a Mike and said: "I'll go ask someone where they are!" Sure enough he walked right over to an employee and said: "Excuse me. Where are the striped bow ties?"
I was dying! I couldn't keep a straight face. Luckily the sales clerk there was a very nice guy and let my boy down easy. I was so impressed with how well he maneuvered the situation. He even used his manners! I must be doing something right.

Himself's new job

T. was looking at a picture of our new Commander in Chief.
"T. who is that?"
"That's Obama."
"What's his job?"
"To clean up the trash."
Out of the mouth of babes.

Oops!

I've been meaning to write this down for well over a month now. One late afternoon, as Mike and I were attempting to get the kids in coats and out the door, we were gently ribbing each other. At this point I have NO idea what brought me to say this under my breath to Mike, but I mutter to him "Yeah, Butt Pirates."
Guess who heard me? You got it! T! He then started yelling, "Yeah Daddy! Let's be Butt Pirates! Let's hide in the closet and be Butt Pirates!"
I was laughing so hard I about peed myself. Mike didn't find this so amusing. Especially after I went outside and came back in and low and behold, they were in the closet. Mike came out and said with his all too patronizing tone: "Look Mommy, we're in the closet just like T. wanted and we're Butt Pirates."

I wonder how much therapy my kids are going to need?

Magina

What is a magina you ask? I'll tell you. It's what my son was SCREAMING that he wanted the other night, after I told him he'll never have one because he's a boy.

Little girl is interested in potty training right now. The way our bathrooms work up stairs is that they are all connected. So T. was sitting on his toilet, V. on her potty, and Mommy on the other. We got into a conversation about penis's. When he realized that neither his sister nor his mother has one he asked the name of our parts.
"T. all girls have a vagina, and all boys have a penis."
"I want a magina!"
Then the tears ensued and I had to call Mike to calm him down. How proud was my husband when he had to talk to his only son about being proud of his penis.

Out of the mouth of babes

Mike just walked out the door, and T. asked "Mommy, where's daddy going?"
"To the ABC store."
"Is he going to buy some letters?"

"Yes, T. he sure is!"
(For those who live out of state, the ABC store is the liquor store!)

A Thanksgiving Story

I've been remiss in updating. I've got several things and pictures I've wanted to blog about but the time just seems to leave me! Here is a story from Thanksgiving I've been meaning to post for a while!

Little Bear made a turkey headband at school the week before Thanksgiving. On it was pictures of Pilgrims, Native Americans, the Mayflower, corn, berries, you get the idea. This is the precursor to the rest of the story... T. was running around the house telling Mike he wanted to be a princess. Mike feeling very upset that his little boy wanted to be a princess informed him that he had to be a prince. Well, this set off tears and protests from my boy. "I want to be a princess!" So, being the ingenious mommy that I am, suggested that he be a King, the King of Thanksgiving and wear his afore mentioned crown. That seemed to pacify both parties.
The next thing that I hear as he is marching around the house wearing his "King Hat", is: "You go to MY CHURCH!" It took me a few minutes to realize what in the hell he was talking about. He was acting out the Thanksgiving story. He then recited: "And the Pilgrims said "NO WAY!".
Whenever I get frustrated with earning NO money these days, I just remember him reciting the Thanksgiving story in his own way and realize that it is money well spent.

Soccer Star

My boy has been enjoying soccer at school. According to his teacher, he's doing really well with all the skills she's taught him thus far!

Picture of the Day

He is such the little man. Takes after his father and grandfather.

My favorite photo from this weekend

The Five Yucky Things

Mike started a list of things that are yucky with T. a while back. He kept expanding the list and it now consists of five items. Here is the order in which he lists them, counting them off on his fingers:
1. Bath water is yucky (to drink)
2. Drugs are yucky (can't start them on just say no, too early according to Mike)
3. Garbage is yucky (self explainitory)
4. Boogers are yucky (duh! and he says this AFTER he gets his fingers out of his nose and into his mouth)
5. Poopy is yucky (no kidding!)

Yesterday, T. was stomping in the kitchen in his rain boots (long story for another time) and he accidently stepped on V.'s woobie (security blanket). I asked him to please not step on it with his boots, because they had been outside and they had yucky stuff on them from the backyard. With the wheels turning in his little head, he looks at me and says: "Are there drugs out there mommy?"
I about peed myself laughing.
At least he is listening!

First Day of Preschool

I can't believe it! LB started preschool today! He looks so grown up. When I asked him what his favorite part of the day was, he mentioned his friend that he hadn't seen since June. That was his favorite part. How sweet is that????